The decisions that go along with preparing an estate plan are far from easy ones to make. So many different factors are at play when determining who will handle your assets or who will care for your children in the event of your death. The fear of hurt feelings often comes along with making these decisions as many clients do not want to upset a loved one who believes he or she will be given a certain appointment. Many wonder if they should even share the details of their estate plans with loved ones. Like so many things, there is no easy answer to this question. It depends on the dynamics of your family and your specific wishes that are included in your plan.
Without a doubt, you should always share the details of your estate plan with the people you have chosen for various appointments, including trustee, personal representative, guardian of your minor children and power of attorney appointees. You should never assume that these individuals are going to agree to accept these appointments without their consent. Usually it is advisable to at least send them electronic copies of the documents where they are appointed, just so they have them.
I also recommend clients speak with family members regarding their healthcare wishes that go along with their living wills and healthcare powers of attorney. These decisions are ones that are not taken lightly, and it helps if your family clearly understands what your wishes may be, no matter how uncomfortable these discussions may be. The last thing you want is to put your family members in a situation where they are guessing as to what your intentions are during an emergency.
With respect to those family members not chosen for appointments, it depends on the dynamics of the family as to whether you share this information. If you are on good terms with your family, I see no reason why you should not share the details of your estate plan. However, if you do believe that feelings will be hurt and that sharing your estate plan will only lead to conflict, it may be advisable to avoid sharing.
In the event the client has adult children who are selected for these various appointments, I do recommend discussing your estate plan with your adult children if you have a good relationship with them. Being open about your estate plan can help clear up any issues that could come up later, but it is important that you speak with all of your children openly and not one or two, leaving others out. In the event you have a strained relationship with your adult children but still want to have this discussion, make sure you do it with all of your children together so that everyone is on the same page.
I always provided electronic copies of your documents with your original hard copies to make it easier to share documents with your chosen fiduciaries if you so wish. I am also happy to mail hard copies, as well, to various individuals upon request. In your binder, I also include a Memorandum to Fiduciaries, explaining what their job duties entail, both during your lifetime, your incapacity, and your death. I always welcome being contacted by your appointees, as well, in the event they need assistance or clarification once their duties begin.
At Sullivan Law, we offer estate planning packages at a flat and reasonable fee. We also offer free consultations to discuss what your needs are, what you would like to do, and how that can be best accomplished. Everyone’s needs are different, and your wishes should be clearly listed and understood.
Call us at 248.917.1351 or email at asullivan@sullivanlawonline.com to schedule your free consultation today. We look forward to working with you!