No one wants to think about the possibility that you may not always be there for your children. However, as parents, it is important to prepare for the unthinkable. One of the most important decisions clients with young children need to make when preparing their estate plan is to decide who will be the guardian for their minor children in the event both parents are gone. This decision is also one of the hardest decisions to make. Several considerations should be kept in mind when making this important decision:
- Financial Stability: Children are expensive. The last thing you want to do is put your children in a situation where they are being cared for by guardians who cannot pay for their basic expenses. You may build in the ability for the trustee or executor to help pay for your children’s expenses after your death, but it also helps if you choose guardians who are financially able to take on an additional child or two;
- Overall Stability for the Child: You want to keep your child’s emotional well-being in mind when making these decisions. Think about it: if someone is taking over as guardian, this means that your child or children’s lives have been completely uprooted. Their parents are gone. Do you want them to now move across the country with people they do not really know? Keep that in mind when choosing your guardians. Do you want the person or people you choose to be local so that your child or children do not need to move? Do you want them to stay in the same school district, being close to the same friends? If so, choosing a guardian nearby where you currently live may be a good choice.
- Shared Values: Religion and social values are important to many clients. For example, you may believe it is important for your children to attend church every week. If you were not around, you would likely want that to continue, correct? If so, choosing the aunt or uncle who are atheist may not line up with the values you want to pass onto your child or children, which means it may be wise to find a person or people with same or similar values as yourself.
- Age Consideration: Many times, during the initial consultation, clients automatically assume that the child’s grandparents make the best selection for guardian. Keep in mind, however, that these guardians are going to be stepping into a difficult situation. Your children will have already lost their parents. If you put them with someone who is older, they will end up losing a second parent figure not too long after losing a mother and father. Additionally, taking care of an adolescent or teenager is difficult even for the healthiest and most active person. Consider whether elderly grandparents are the best decision to raise someone the age of your child or children.
- Ask Your Children: Most judges consider the age of 14 to be the threshold before children have a say in who will be their guardians. If your child is old enough to give his or her opinion, it does not hurt to ask where he or she would like to live if something happened to you and the child’s other parent, even if your child is 10 or 12, just below that age threshold.
- Avoid Feeling Obligated: Clients often express fear that if they choose someone as guardian over another person who has automatically assumed that he or she will be the person caring for their child, they will hurt that person’s feelings. Perhaps you have a sister who assumes she is the guardian, but you may believe that another individual, such as someone outside of your immediate family, is the best selection. My recommendation is to not let obligation or fear of hurt feelings push you towards a decision. When it comes to decisions involving your children, you have to do what you think is best. After all, that is what comes first and foremost, regardless of what other people may think.
Lastly, I always recommend that clients ask the potential guardian or guardians if they are willing to take on this responsibility. Never leave this as a surprise for loved ones to discover after your death. Make sure it is something they truly feel they can handle. Attorneys also are worst case scenario individuals. Having only one selection puts your children in a difficult situation in the event the potential guardian is deceased or is not able to assume the responsibility. Have at least one back-up guardian written in your will for that possibility, and of course, ask your backups if this appointment is acceptable to them, as well.
At Sullivan Law, we offer estate planning packages at a flat and reasonable fee. We also offer free consultations to discuss what your needs are, what you would like to do, and how that can be best accomplished. Everyone’s needs are different, and your wishes should be clearly listed and understood. Sullivan Law is also a provider law firm through the Hyatt Legal Plan and regularly helps clients employed by many of the regional companies in the Greater Detroit area.
Call us at 248.917.1351 or email at asullivan@sullivanlawonline.com to schedule your free consultation today. We look forward to working with you!